Dating
Thank the creator, I've found the person I will date for the rest of my life. But most of the people I work with haven't. So I hereby declare it - "Romance Week" on my blog.
To start the conversation off, take a look at this article I found on MSN. Then leave your feedback... especially if you are a person looking for a Godly mate. And remember - the opinions expressed in the folowing article are not neccesarily those of the blogger...
posted by Rob Petkau at 8:10 AM
21 Comments:
I like that article! It really puts you in your spot because I guess, "if you fail to plan, you plan to fail" currently I'm failing to plan but I'm working on it, and would like to get to know the people better in my church. Eventhough it is rather difficult given the career I am in presently.
I think 1 Corinthians 7:27 says it best.. "are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife" AND...
1 Corinthians 7:32-34 says " An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs - how he can please the lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world-how he can please his wife - and his interests are divided."
Rather than search for ourselves; we should leave this in God's hands to fufill for us. That is, if it is his will for us. But as Paul also says, it's better to marry than to burn with Passion! So if you find yourself desiring a mate....then ask that the lord wourld calm your heart and provide this in his timing.
Sean Christie :-)
Does this mean that everytime someone catches my eye that I should hand him my "resume, qualifications and references"? I'm not sure all of that would fit on a starbucks napkin. Ha ha.
Honestly, I think the article draws a pretty good analogy and is something to think about for sure. I do think that healthy dating begins with two people who are confident in who they are and where they're at. To draw reference to the analogy - the worst situation to be in is one where you are looking for a job because you are desperate to just find something - anything. You shouldn't have to settle for something that doesn't make you happy (in a job or in romance).
I agree with some of the article, for example the standards of "must have", "would be nice" and "deal breaker" are important to know for yourself. I heard a sermon preached on being single and the pastor said that you should know what you're willing to live with and what you absolutely won't accept in a potential mate. So organization isn't the word I would use when it comes to dating, rather knowing oneself.
I don't agree with the article in the sense of going out there and MAKING it happen. I am waiting as patiently as I can on God to bring the right person into my life. I agree with Josh McDowell in "I kissed dating goodbye" in the approach of getting to know people as friends, hanging out in groups, and if someone catches your interest then get to know them in a safer setting such as a young adults group, and if you're still being drawn to the person then pursue that one person. To approach active dating the way this article outlines, I think you would be distracting yourself too much from what God wants for you. And for myself it would be creating a LOT of frustration with dating.
I like to leave my dating life in the hands of God, and though it's left me in a 8 year dating drought (it's what I get for being old fashioned and wanting chivalry in the 21st century I suppose), and though it can be difficult to deal with at times, I'd rather be single with the assurance of having God nearby, than be with the wrong person by my side.
Hmmm. Spreadsheets? Are we sure this article isn't written by an engineer?
I know it's extremely important to pinpoint your "must-haves"/"can't-stands", but first, you have to know yourself. Maybe we're always stretching, always growing, always changing, but how unfair would it be to be in a relationship with someone when you aren't even certain of who you are yet?
So...while I'm single, I'll continue to work on my relationship with my Father, getting to know myself even more, and "window-shopping" for the person I'll date for life..
Interesting article some good thoughts re planning and knowing what you want, I like the earlier post about failing to plan = planning to fail.
It's important to distinguish between what you want and what you need (re qualities in a mate), and in this we need to ...WAKE UP! every girl on this planet isn't a Victoria Secrets model with fantasies of spending her life cleaning up after some slob and every man isn't tall, dark, handsome, and rich. (playing heavily upon sterio types)
Somehow we have to find a balance between 'trusting God' and creating some opportunities for ourselves. If you aren't meeting new people how can God introduce you to 'the one', {if there is such a thing!}. If your social circle doesn't expand, or change, how do you expect God to provide?, do you think that the guy or girl who has ignored you for 5 years is suddenly going to open their eyes and say "Thank you Jesus", and more to the point if they are so clueless that they don't see you or appreaciate your great qualities for 5 years do you want to marry someone that slow on the uptake?
I realize that in some circles it appears that God doesn't care if you are single forever (and really are we talking about FOREVER?), so I have trouble with the earlier post quoting 'don't look for a wife' - I mean if you don't look for a wife for yourself who will? You shouldn't make it your whole purpose in life, but setting that as a goal isn't a bad thing.
I like an earlier comment about having to know yourself, truth there. We need to appreciate that Ideally we are all always changing, becoming more Christlike, and not just ourselves but our potential mates as well.
Perfection won't be found in this life... with the possible exception of yours truly
Hey man,
well Im not really a fan... since when is it ethical to treat people like work assighnments? call me old fashioned but I dont want to find the one that im going to merry because i measured her at every turn because i practiced my dating skill to the point where she couldnt escape because i am so good at dating now.... Practicing dating and setting deadlines on people you supposedly care about just seems silly to me. Id like to think that people deserve more then an "im dating you because i am supposed to date someone once a week for practice for my future wife." Im thinking if im going to meet my future wife practice or no practice im going to do okay. And mistakes are part of dating anyways its something that makes it exciting and overcomming the mistakes even better.
Anyways thats my two cents im a very organized person and i can manipulate people and situations but when it comes to dating thats not something i want to do and thats what this article seems to be hinting at to me.
Reid To The Adventure.
Hey
That picture is sooo cute. Where was it taken? I didn't read that article only because I am not really looking for that special someone. Any ways tootles.
See you at church.
To "Stirring the Pot". Well said. Very Intellegent response.
While we are on the topic? Are you male, single and do you favour blondes? ha ha.
Interesing feedback... thanks. I guess somewhere along the line I decided to leave the question of marriage in God's hands. I decided to live the life He set out for me and to watch for opportunities to meet and even date someone - but not to try to make something happen. Jaime snuck in under the radar!
And BTW - the pic was taken in Kiev Ukraine.
To Anonymous
Yes I am male, single and I usually don't favour blondes. Although hair color (as long as it's not pink or lime green { purple can be ok}) usually isn't a deal breaker....
see this is me differentiating between must have and would be nice.
WHOO HOOO I'm already applying what I've learnt!!!!
I just think it is funny that so many people write anonymous comments on a blog about dating, touchy subject? I don't know. I like to think about dating as a much simpler thing - it starts out with two people who like each other and it moves on from there. As for organization and all that jaz doesn't that kind of take the fun out of getting to know someone? Those are just some of my thought on the subject by no means do they represent my entire opinion on dating (just some of it).
In Ukraine, government dates you!
as for the article
well, sometimes i pretend to be a robot, but when i do i only pretend to do stuff thats fun.
[start robot voice] greetings possible life partner, according to my calculations, you are 98% compatible with myself. would you like to go study hydrogen gas found in nebulae and then go out for frothy milkshakes. [end electronic voice]
some of you have saw my the rapid growing ukrainian creep, my bedroom is no different and is many times worse. i even have a portable creep in my vehicle. it was once a 4 seater, now its a two.
organization is for people that dont believe in tornados.
so i stopped reading the article.
Your're one of a kind Johnny-loophole
Good call Ryan. I never have quite understood the whole anonymous post thing and im all for not making something more difficult then it already is especially when dating shouldnt be that hard to begin with.
Reid- To The Adventure.
hey rob glad to hear things are going good i cant read that it is way to much for me to read i just hope to see you some time comment on my blog plz and thank you Jerusha
Well I think most of the things commented there are a little ridiculous... A few things I can agree with like one someone said about looking for your wife... but at the same time, I kind of like the idea of just living life as who you are and eventually you'll meet the person you will one day marry. Maybe its just cause I havent actually started looking for dating or anything yet. I dont even like talking about it as "looking".. it just seems sort of awkward and unnatural.
I'll just drop some rhyme bombs
in response to this
Yo this whole dating scene
is gettin pretty mean,
i aint seen as many groovin relations
in this modern world of many nations
the net is gettin pretty risky
for gettin dates or jus gettin frisky
we need to ask ourselves,
whats this really article promoting
to get a bunch of quick practice,
to turn love into a dead end job
as a slob in marraige of malice
well, i aint diggin the advice
displayed in da news,
well its been a slice,
dj slam here keepin it true's
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum... kay.
Hey Rob,
Long time no chat.
It's been a while since i have blog surfed so I hope that it's ok to comment on this artical even though I missed Romance week!
As you may or may not know I have been wrestling out some relationship issues latly.
I agree with the sentiment that some have shared that it is not good to be overly focused on 'relationships' and finding the right one - this can be very distracting.
Since i have been single for so long I had not taken very much time to really consider all of my personal boundaries and standards, expectations for a relationship. I took my single state for granted. So I really appreciate what the artical says about making sure that you are intentional about thinking through expecations, boundaries, standards etc..
The reality is that you don't think as clearly when you are interested in someone & a solid relationship can only run so long on emotions
...
I liked this article. I dont know many people that would actually keep there romantic life in folders and keep everything in writting. I do think that its a good idea though to make a list in what your looking for or at least have a good mindset. I dont think you should waste your time on just anyone especailly if your not happy with the way they live, and if they dont treat you right. you should let god control who's right for your life.
I disagree with the part about if it doesnt work out you should dress more sexy, change your look, get a makeover. If it doesnt work out changing the way you are isnt the way to go, you just need to try something new.
My number one key - just always Be yourself!
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