How to stop worrying

Quick answer if you want to save the time of reading this; you can’t (now skip to the end). In my opinion, most of us cannot simply stop worrying. Worry is a response, and like most responses there is a huge element of choice - yes. But more than that, worry is an expression of basic human fear. And fear cannot be reasoned away, not entirely. Don’t take my word for it, go ahead and try as hard as you can to stop worrying. Turn red, grunt really hard, bust a blood vessel in your scalp. Do your best. How did that go? Or better yet – be that person who tells people; “I don’t know what you’re so worried about – just stop worrying”. Do this and watch your friends total on facebook shrink.

My observation is that once fear/worry is engaged, it’s a process that cannot simply be halted. It can however be re-directed. Worry does not always have to follow the same default path to anxiety and depression. Worry can be displaced! It’s like many other things in life. Nature abhors a vacuum, so stop trying to create one by removing worry. Instead try and replace it with something else. Like Indiana Jones with the rock and the gold statue (except with better results). For myself I try to replace worry with things like truth, perspective, and best of all faith. A great Jedi once said; “your focus determines your reality”. So focus on where you want to steer the ship of your emotional self instead of focusing on the worry. Pretend the worry is a voice; what is worry telling you? What does worry want to make you believe? What will you choose to believe instead? Spend some time actively engaging in things that direct your focus to what you want to feel. Time with certain friends, get to the mountains, listen to the right music, recall good memories with your wife/husband. It could be almost anything; just do it. You are not merely focusing on the positive, or distracting yourself, you are displacing the worry. Most often worry contains an element that is, how shall I say, blown out of proportion? Displacement gets your headspace and judgement back within realistic proportions. That means the worry will automatically seem smaller, and you’ll find yourself saying; “what was I so worried about?”