road of life RAGE

The Curse of the Competent

2011-04-11T10:04:00.000-07:00

I can’t believe I have not written about this until now. It’s an observation that has turned into an insight about life, and it’s a Rob original (as opposed to all the other insights I rip off from smart people I’ve read, then proceed to forget where I read it and claim it as my own).

The seed for this insight has been my own life experience. You see I think I have pretty good judgement. I value wisdom and take time to think things through. I have learned to trust my judgement because it is right %99 of the time. But that’s just it… when I hit that %1 (which happens rarely but consistently), I fall hard. Most people would think that sounds like a pretty good track record, so I should stop complaining and give up on my quest for perfection; and they would be right. Accept that this revelation exposes an interesting truth; I trust my own judgement too much, and I will be doomed to repeat those one- percent-hard-falls as long as I do. This is the curse of the competent.

If you are like me and suffer from this curse, if you trust your own judgement and think a little too highly of your wisdom consider this. Is it possible to benefit fully from one’s own wisdom and good judgement, while at the same time not trusting it completely? If that sounds like a rhetorical question it probably is. It’s been my best strategy in dealing with the curse. I remember that my tried and tested wisdom will fail me inevitably. This begs the question, what better means of decision making is there? For me the answer lies with the creator of wisdom, God. When I subject my good judgement to His greater wisdom it is an act of humility, of worship. God gets to be God in my life and I get to learn from my mistakes, and hopefully make less of them.

Update

2010-09-24T11:24:00.000-07:00

It was only a few weeks ago that the word “September” struck fear in Jaime and my heart. Now the month of doom is drawing to a close and... Low and behold, the sun still rises, and there’s food on the table.
God has been so faithful, not only to provide for our needs, but to do so in unexpected ways that teach us and bless us. We prayed for 15 coaching clients to start September, but the first week came and I had half of what I hoped. So we prayed, and God provided... more lightsaber work. For those of you who don’t know I design and build expensive custom lightsabers – now as a part time job... a job I really love.

Genesis Custom Sabers
As it turns out, this lightsaber work is answering our prayers from the previous post. Miracle numbers one and two (1. Time to have my soul restored, and 2. Work that is refilling, allows me to coach, and pays the bills). This is God’s way of providing for our material needs and spiritual ones. Money is still tight, but we no longer carry the fear that we did only a few weeks ago. Jaime and I are more comfortable with the fact that money will be uncertain each month from now on, and that is OK. It’s part of the faith journey that God has invited us to take with Him. He continually blesses and inspires us through the people who believe in our vision, and have put that into action by giving us gifts, apples, Save-on-Foods cards etc.
I have 8 coaching clients now, and a few really good opportunities ahead. I love being a coach, and I want to be the most skilful, anointed coach I can be. Actually, come to think of it... I can honestly say that I love my life (all of it), for the first time in quite a few years.

3 miracles

2010-07-12T15:26:00.000-07:00

Jaime and I are grateful for the number of people who are genuinely interested in our faith journey over this next season of life. So I will do my best to keep this blog updated with posts design to inform you who are praying for us.
Seeing as we feel like this is the biggest leap of faith we have ever taken (quitting my job with no plan), it seems reasonable to pray with big and desperate faith. So Jaime and I have made a miracle list that we have posted on our fridge. Essentially these are 3 things that are impossible to accomplish on our own, 3 things that would be huge helps in our new life. They are as follows.

Miracle #1... Time to rest.
I feel drained, Jaime sees it. I need time for God to “restore my soul”. We have provision for the month of August, but we’re praying that God can miraculously give me a few more weeks off without fear of not paying the mortgage. Like I said, not something we can accomplish on our own.

Miracle #2... Perfect work
As of September 1, we have no income. Last time I checked, we still have a mortgage and 3 mouths to feed. I am under no illusion that my coaching practice will be able to provide for all this right out of the gate. Even with a full client load (which would be a miracle) I’m not charging enough for it to pay all the bills. So I will need some kind of work. Here are the “impossible” things we are praying for that make this nebulous work a miracle;
a. Work that allows me to pursue coaching with all my energy.
b. Work that pays ALL the bills
c. Work that is energizing, not draining.

Miracle #3... Certification
I am a fully trained coach. But I am not yet an internationally certified coach. Becoming certified with the International Coaching Federation would allow me to charge twice what I am presently asking. There is a 6 month program that I would dearly love to start, which would have me certified in 6 months time. This intense program of learning, supervision, and practice would help me be a much better coach. It costs $5000.

I know that there are a lot of good people suffering financially right now. People who would look at these miracles and think they are a dream. Why do Jaime and I deserve these things from God? Simple – we don’t! But His word tells us that we often do not have, because we do not ask Him. Jesus encouraged us to have faith like a child – so we ask. If God does not provide any of these miracles we will still trust, love and follow Him wholeheartedly. But what if He does? That would be so sweet!

Life change

2010-06-21T19:52:00.000-07:00

Deciding to resign from my position, more than that – to leave pastoral ministry is a pretty big deal for me. It has not been a quick decision, in some respects it has been years in the making. It is as much about where I am going as it is about what I am leaving behind.

I have never been one who believed that I was “called” to be a pastor. I’m not sure anyone really is. Rather, I believe that we are all called to be who God made us each to be. For me that means I am called to be a discipler, a teacher, an artist, a coach. For 15 years, pastoring youth and young adults has been the most logical way for me to BE my calling to the fullest. I am now in the season of discovering that there are better ways to be who I am called to be. God has made this clear to me in two main ways.
The first way is through what is commonly called “burnout”. Over the last 15 years of ministry I have periodically come to a place in life where I feel so drained emotionally that I cannot continue. Fortunately, I have had the help to recognize this before I reached a serious breakdown. In my case this does not happen as a result of over working or long hours, but it’s the emotional drain of life as a pastor that gets me. Imagine a gas tank inside each of us – filled with emotional energy. There are things in life the supply energy, and things that drain energy. If my “tank” is slowly being drained more than it is being filled – I will eventually fall into crisis, depression, and other bad stuff. As I am reaching this crisis point for the 3rd time in 15 years, I am learning that I am unable to continue in this work. I can’t find a way to do the work of pastoral ministry in a way that is sustainable. If there was a perfect job for me to find a way... this job would have been it. It’s not that there is anything wrong with WECA (my church), and I do really love the people I get to work with in facechurch. I just KNOW that I am done now, it’s time for a new leader to take my place here. It’s taken some doing for God to break through my thick skull to tell me that this is OK. It does not mean I have failed – it means I have discovered what God wanted to show me. That there is a better way to be the man He created me to be – my calling.
This leads me to the second way God has spoken to me. I have discovered that I am born to be a coach. A professional coach is kind of like a counsellor, but different in their approach. A coach is trained in creating a dynamic relationship with the client, in order to help them discover their own insights and answers. A coach is the not expert, does not offer a diagnosis, or even advice. Rather, a coach asks questions, discerns truths, and challenges assumptions in a way that makes the client more able to see clearly, and be honest with themself. Often this is a much more dramatic way for a person to discover who they are, and what they want to do about it. Up until last year the only job that allowed me to do what I’m called to do for a living, was being a pastor in a church. Now I have discovered that professional coaching is an even better fit. As I look back, I clearly see that I have been “coaching” as a pastor the whole time. It has been the most energizing part of my job. Unfortunately it has only been part of my job. I have been coaching people all these years without being trained, until now. Last year Jaime and I invested in my training, by way of an extensive coaching training course. Through that course I came to realize that this work is why God put me on the earth! (If you’d like that same kind of certainty in your life I have two pieces of advice; 1. Get to know your creator, 2. Get a coach!)
It’s true that it would make more sense to continue in my job and learn coaching on the side. But God’s will does not always make sense. After much prayer, Jaime and I feel very strongly that the time to step down has come. I do not have any illusions that I can coach full time right away, so I expect that I will have to get some kind of part time job. I have no idea how we are going to pay the mortgage and buy groceries, but we have faith that God has a way (I really wish he would just tell us). This is the biggest faith leap of our lives, but somewhere deep inside we both know that it’s supposed to be. It’s amazing to watch my son. He is just over a year old and to him – nothing has changed. Mom and Dad still love him, and life is great. Jaime and I are trying to take a lesson from Tristan. Because our Father in heaven still loves us in a way we can’t comprehend, nothing has changed, and in this light, life is truly great.

37

2010-06-14T11:08:00.000-07:00

The following are some thoughts, and some questions that have arisen from my musing on the subjects of dreams, and God’s design. Rather than write a chapter about is (It would be hard to beat chapter 3 from Crazy Love by Francis Chan), I will just post these thoughts and questions for your own consideration. My hope and prayer is that God will spark something deep in your soul when you read a particular thought. If that happens – I suggest taking some time to pray and meditate on it. What might God have for you there?

Psalm 37: 4 tells us “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Considering that the concept of “heart” at the time this was written meant more than emotions, it referred to the very core of your being... ask yourself;

- What does the deepest part of me long for?... the “me” He designed and custom built!
- He built your heart to long for specific things – do you even know what those things are?
- God wants to fulfil THOSE desires – in perfect harmony with His greater purpose for others – for His glory (to make him revealed as AMAZING)

Interesting to note:
- You cannot give yourself the desires of your heart
- The deepest longings of your heart have little to do with comfort, or with material things

Is this where dreams are found?

In Genesis 37, we find the story of Joseph, a very familiar story for many of us. What do you notice when you read the beginning of this story?

- Did you notice in verses 3- 4, how Joseph had the favour and love of his father? The other brothers did not.

I wonder if there is a connection between the father’s

love, and the ability to dream.

- If I could grasp more fully my Father God’s amazing love for me, would it unlock an ability to dream, and to desire... an ability which I do not presently have?
- I can tell you that I want my son to know my love so deeply in his bones, that it gives him a security to be himself. I hope that my love for him unlocks his ability to desire great things and to dream big... is our Father God any different?

Re-examine your relationship with God right now...
- Do you KNOW deep in your bones – that God, your father loves you?
- Or do you say you know it – but live as if He is disappointed in you... tired of you?
- Would accepting this love (really believing it) - open you up to dream?

Consider Ephesians 3: 14-21. Rob’s paraphrase of this passage is as follows...
- Know God’s love
- Dream big

It appears that there is some connection, between the father’s love, and the ability to dream. Doesn’t that make you want to explore God’s love for you a little more?

I dare you!
Go find a few coloured pencil crayons and some paper... and write a “Dear Daddy” letter to God. Do it as if you were nine years old again. Why? Ask yourself;
“at what age did I stop dreaming?”
Write or draw from the deepest desires of your heart! What is the worst that could happen? You loving Father could say; “my child, those are not really the desires I made you for. You are dreaming too small – let me show you what the heart I made inside you REALLY wants...”

And that is the worst that could happen if you do this!!! I wonder what the best thing could be?

Hey, that’s my roof!

2010-03-18T12:12:00.001-07:00

In Mark chapter 2 we read a story of this dude who has been paralyzed and lives his life lying on a mat. The story tells of these other dudes, his friends, who hear that Jesus is in town, you know, the guy who they say can heal people of anything. So the friends go pick up their paralyzed buddy, and head off to see Jesus. When they arrive, they discover that there is no way to get through the crowd outside, let alone get into the house to see the great prophet (or even maybe the messiah). What do you suppose these friends do? Call it a day and head out for a hummus latte? Nope, they fight through the crowd and get right up to the house, towing their paralyzed friend with them. Then they climb up on top of the house (still dragging their friend), at the very least giving the crowd something to look at. Next they actually start taking apart the roof of the house (imagine that was your house), and they lower their paralyzed friend inside, mat and all, THUMP! Right at Jesus feet!

Awkward.

Not for Jesus. He forgives the paralyzed man of sin (perhaps for the benefit of those stiffs who thought that he must be paralyzed because of some great sin) then Jesus heals him, and he picks up his mat and walks out, to rejoin his friends who are right now escaping from the roof. The ones who would do anything to get their buddy in need - to the feet of Jesus.

What kind of friend does that?

Would you like to have such friends as these? Would you like to be a friend like that? What if I suggested to you that it is your God given destiny to be that kind of friend?

What’s wrong with me that I don’t love my neighbour?

2010-03-08T14:57:00.000-08:00

That’s a question that I have asked myself and God over and over for more than 20 years. Truthfully though, “What’s wrong with me that I don’t love my neighbour” is the wrong question. It implies that I should have the ability within myself to love my neighbour. While I have met some people who appear to have alot of this ability in themselves... I do not. Especially when I consider “love” from Christ’s point of view. The best I could possibly muster on a good day is woefully inadequate by His standards. And really – His standards are the only ones that matter. (Hmmm that last sentence may be for some of you in particular.)
So then, How do I love my neighbour enough by His standards? The simple truth is that I can only give out of what I have... that if I don’t have an overflowing supernatural personal experience of the God’s Love, how can I hope to give it. On the other hand, if I do have a deep experience of Christ’s love for me – how can I not give it?

“We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love.
God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.”

(1 John 4: 16-17) NLT

Perhaps then the right question is...

“What do I need to accept,
or release,
or do,
in order to experience His love for me more?”

It’s kind of a big deal. More people than just you – are depending on this experience of yours. Why not make it a goal this Easter season to do all within your power to...

“...understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.”

(Eph 3 18-19)

a lost soul

2009-12-14T13:56:00.000-08:00

All four of the gospel writers took the time to recount an instance where Jesus said something like this…

If you try to hold onto your life you will lose it, but if you lose your life for my sake – you will find it. In fact, a person could gain all there is to gain in this world, yet lose their soul, and be unable to buy it back. (Rob’s paraphrase of; Matt 16:24-26 Mark 8:34-37 Luke 9:23-25 John 12:23-25).

Take a moment to read all four passages. As you do… feel… what emotion do these passages stir up for you? Some of us feel hope stirred – that God can save our life, but most of us feel things like guilt, fear, discouragement, uncertainty – what does it mean to give up my life? Life has a lot of uncertainty. We usually combat this with our own wisdom, and depend on our own means to get us happiness. The thought of giving up our concept of happiness and fulfilment – in exchange for a concept we do not understand, is difficult for us. But I suspect it is supposed to be difficult, thus requiring the ingredient – “faith”.

And so we come to the first question:

What kind of trust in Jesus, would it take in order to give up EVERYTHING?

This kind of trust is on the level of desperation. In other words… if God is NOT infinitely loving, powerful, and full of grace toward me…. I’m totally screwed. The question deepens as I consider; “Do I trust Jesus that much, that way?”

But there is an even more radical thought that comes from these passages. Radical, because it is not the way we have commonly come to understand what Jesus is saying. We read the words Matthew recorded;

"If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. 26 And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?"

We would normally read this to say that without giving up my life – I risk losing my eternity in heaven. We know that is true from other scriptural teaching. BUT, wonder with me for a moment… What if Jesus was not talking about losing your eternity in heaven? Let’s take a look.
Two of the four Gospels quote Jesus as referring to one’s “soul” (Greek word; “psuche/psyche”). This word encompasses “Life”, “soul”, “self”. It describes the vitality of life, and “It also has the meaning of the seat of the feelings, desires, affections, aversions...” (p. 1040 Unger’s Bible dictionary). Interestingly though, this is NOT the word used to describe “eternal soul/spirit” (pneuma). Jesus chose to use the word “psuche” instead.

This changes things! The difference in interpretation of these passages is subtle but profound. Jesus is saying that; if I fail to fully give up my life – I risk losing the vitality of life here and now!!! This helps explain all the miserable Christians out there! The misery (loss of psuche) is a result of less than total surrender to God.

Stop and check yourself… how am I doing at giving up my life to God?… and how much vitality am I experiencing in life?… I wonder if they’re connected?

Years ago I saw a poll done with teenagers that asked the question; “would you rather be bored or scared?” Guess what the overwhelming response was… you got it, they would rather be scared than bored. Are you and I any different? Think about it… most people who have no time for church, religion, or God use the reason “It’s boring”. But I think that Jesus is making it pretty clear in these passages that the life of one of his followers should not be boring. Scary yes, but not boring. What have we done to Christianity that it could even be accused of being boring?

If you’re like me – you’re still restless and discouraged about the prospect of “giving your life up”. To be honest, I don’t know exactly what that means for me, let alone what it might mean for you. But I do know that I am unwilling to be one of those “followers” of Jesus who fails to give up everything for him and lose my life/soul. So I embrace the scary side of following Jesus, and pray that He is gentle with me. It’s kind of like meeting with your trusted doctor who tells you that he must perform immediate surgery on you, he will not state the reason, and adds to your fear by saying that he will not tell you what he must cut out, or cut off! But he assures you “it will be worth it”. How about a second opinion? This crazy example is exactly what Jesus is offering you. Not “will you sell everything you own and live in a box?”… necessarily. But will you allow him to do whatever he must, whatever it takes, to lead you in the life He has designed you for? Will you obey when He says “give that up”? Will you trust when life’s circumstances hit you like a hurricane? Note here that life will hit hard, whatever you choose, it might as well have some significance to it. Honestly, even writing this stuff scares me! What’s going to happen to me this year? Will I regret saying this? No, I choose to trust Him. I chose to trust that His vision for my life is better than mine. Only He can bring my soul to life.

So… if you’re with me in this, try and make the following statement yours…

“I (your name), choose to lose my whole life for You and for Your Kingdom”

What thoughts are preventing you from saying that? What do you need to just let go of right now?

Stop reading and pray for awhile if you need to.

I recently read the folowing in "Second-hand Jesus” by Glenn Packiam;
“So if you haven’t yet experienced the doors of the great wooden horse bursting open with warriors bent on your defeat, wait. It’s coming. And when it does, when Christ comes to save your life by leading you to lose it, embrace Him. Embrace Him again as you did at first when you thought Christianity was all about your happiness. Embrace His work. Count it all joy. It will save your life. Again.”

The Abraham Test

2009-11-19T11:48:00.000-08:00

In talking with people about their crisis of faith (If you have not had one – you will), I am always drawn back to the story of Abraham in Genesis 22. The story actually goes back to Genesis 15 where God originally promises to Abraham that he will not only have a son, but an entire nation will come from his descendants! Then beyond all hope at an old age Abraham’s wife Sarah gives birth to the promised miracle child Isaac. The one on whom all this hope and destiny rests! Then in 22: 1-2 the good loving all powerful God says to Abraham...

“Take your son, your only son—yes, Isaac, whom you love so much—and go to the land of Moriah. Go and sacrifice him as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, which I will show you.”

Umm... what? Let’s pretend you are Abraham in this test. Talk about a crisis of faith! How could a loving God ask such a thing? You’re supposed to be just God – how is this just? Let’s pause here to examine the 4 key qualities of God... These are things that God does not merely do – these are who He is, His nature. These things that cannot be fully defined without Him. I have identified four such themes in scripture (perhaps five if you count “Light” but light may be the symbolic sum off all these others). God says He is... “Love”, “Justice”, “Truth”, and “Holiness”. I have capitalized them because I am in fact naming God. So we see how deeply this crisis of faith runs for Abraham. How can he believe against all evidence, that God is Love, that God is Just, etc.

But that is exactly the point.

Back to the story... Abraham and his teenage promise child go on a journey as God has ordered – to the mountain of His choosing, and Abraham prepares to kill his son as an act of obedience to THIS God. I can’t tell you that he wasn’t hoping God would stop him at the last second, or bring his beloved son back to life. I don’t know what he was feeling – but I do know he would have gone through with it, had God not appeared and stopped him. ”Angel of the LORD” in scripture sometimes means “appearance of the LORD”, just like here – God says...

“Don’t lay a hand on the boy!” the angel said. “Do not hurt him in any way, for now I know that you truly fear God. You have not withheld from me even your son, your only son.”

We know two things from this. One, that Abraham would have done it. And two, God was not really the one who needed to know that. God already knew (He’s God). So then, who was the one who needed to know if Abe would really do it? Abe was the one who needed to know. That was the test. Can you believe in a God when all evidence contradicts his very nature? Abraham could. Can you?

I’ve spoken to countless people who have become terrified at the knowledge that they are beginning to question their own faith. A loved one dies, a child, how could a loving God let that happen? Rape, torture, suffering, starvation. A woman watches as the man who God promised was her soul mate walks away. “Did the God of Truth lie to me?” In all this the question is the same as it was 3500 years ago... can you believe in, follow, surrender to a God when all evidence contradicts Him? For those who pass this test we have a word; “faith.” But there is also another word that means this kind of choice and surrender; “LORD”.

Once you’ve identified the test of Abraham you begin to see it in the lives of the great heroes of the faith. All of them struggled with questioning their faith. Some came out on the other side with a new understanding of what trust in God as LORD means. Unfortunately others became talk show hosts who claim to follow God THIER OWN way. And some just stopped believing in God altogether, thus claiming that they are “God”; able to know all things. Which are you going to be?

Mental pictures and fictional mentors

2008-11-21T14:10:00.000-08:00

In the spring of this year I got away to a place near the mountains to pray for a couple days. I really need to do that more often. Among the things God showed me was a picture of… get this; Jedi. I know – big surprise coming from me. But this picture was a way for God to show me something specific… something that has deepened over the months since that time away. Let me state here that I believe a mental picture is incredibly helpful in understanding and personalizing a profound truth.
My mental picture was a character in Star Wars Episode 1 “the Phantom Menace”, my favorite Jedi; Qui-Gon Jinn.

I feel that God was trying to tell me that He wants me to be more like Qui Gon in my leadership style, but I had been expecting myself to be more like the other Jedi hero of that movie; Obiwan Kenobi. Now if you are a non Star Wars fan – I hope you bear with me.
Qui-Gon is different from Obiwan in a few ways. First, he is older and wiser than his young apprentice. God was telling me I need to act my age, and recognize that I have some wisdom to offer. That it does not have to be prideful for me to step into a role of wisdom and authority in people’s lives.
Second, I was reminded of my calling – not to be the hero necessarily, but to be the one who mentors the heroes. The thought of mentoring and standing behind young disciples, calling them out to be heroes of the faith is humbling and inspiring to me.

Recently I had another thought. I have been really trying to spend time regularly in meditation. I find it is so centering and refreshing to my soul, mind, and body. In doing so I have been reminded by God of the need to be yielded to His Holy Spirit. I want to allow God full access to all of my life – to do as He wishes. In order to do this – God has really spoken to me – that I need to live in the moment, far more than I do. I am the kind of person who over-thinks everything. I plan and scheme, and try to anticipate every possibility. In other words, my mind is painfully aware of everything BUT the present. This leads to a lot of stress in my life. I constantly struggle with anxiety. So God in His love and faithfulness tells me to be “in the moment” – How the heck do I do that?! Well… God reminds me of my picture of Qui-Gon Jinn. Now, only the most nerdy Star Wars fans (of which I am one) will know that Qui-Gon’s philosophy of the fictional “force” was in opposition to the beliefs of other Jedi leaders of His time. They all believed in the “Unifying force” the aspect of this energy binding all, and unifying all. The focus was on using and directing the force in positive ways. By contrast, Qui-Gon believed in the “Living force”, asserting that the energy was somehow alive, and had a will that could be followed and obeyed… moment by moment, with complete trust and abandon. You see where I’m going with this? My living God has a will, and can speak to me! He is calling me to relax into His presence and be directed by Him with complete trust and abandon. I read the book of Acts in scripture - assuming that the apostles followed Gods Holy Spirit much the same way.
If I am successful in allowing God to change my thinking, and my patterns, the result could be a less stressful and more powerful life.
When was the last time you set aside time to give God space to speak to you? Has He given you any mental pictures to better understand and apply his profound truth to your life?

I am a shot

2008-05-23T10:37:00.000-07:00

Sometimes a picture comes to mind that helps explain something about life. Just such an occurrence happened to me the other day. Two separate trains of thought collided to help me understand... how our lives are like espresso.

Espresso is different from normal coffee in that it requires the beans be crushed/ground to a finer degree, it also requires alot of heat and pressure. But these things do not guarantee a great cup of espresso. In fact, you could have the best beans roasted in Italy, and a $30,000 espresso machine, and still not achieve a great espresso. It seems that it also depends on subtle little details that affect the result. The fineness of the grind, how compact the coffee in the filter is, the temperature, and purity of the water, and a host of other nuances go into making a great espresso. When you taste espresso made by a master... it is like nothing else.

Just like life – crushing, heat, and pressure are inescapable, but that does not guarantee that I will develop inner character that will enrich the lives of those around me. It depends on subtle attitudes I take daily while in the process that will determine the flavour I become. As I run to God, seek Him, and choose to live by faith even when the darkness and despair of life seem to prove that God is not just, or loving... an aroma begins... then a beautiful product starts to emerge. I slowly and sometimes painfully develop an inner character that shares the greatness of God to whoever “tastes” me.

Next time you have a great espresso beverage, crack open your bible to Hebrews 12: 1-13, and Romans 5:1-5. And choose to trust the Master who is making something beautiful out of your struggle.

The Train

2008-02-06T14:55:00.000-08:00

I had a thought... the church is like a train that transports soldiers to the front lines of a war. The church is designed by God to disciple every nation (Matt. 28). To transport people to spiritual maturity, Godly character, and Christ likeness. We ship people to the front lines of ministry, life, art, culture, leadership, and servanthood. The Church exists to take people from where they are (wherever they are) to a life of meaning and effectiveness as a disciple of Jesus... to bless all people on earth (Gen. 12:3), and serve those people’s journey toward Christ.

Theory number 268473

2007-12-13T15:08:00.000-08:00

I have theories about everything. For instance, I spend time with people who WANT to be more acquainted with the teachings of the bible. They want to be the kind of person who digs in and studies the Word of God as an individual... someone who has at least a sense of what scripture teaches about the issues of life. BUT... they don’t do anything about it. They continue on unsatisfied, in a church culture where most people expect to be told what scripture teaches on Sunday morning. We want to be a person of the Word, but we don’t want it enough to live a little differently.

My theory is this;
...that we are actually too intimidated by the Bible to even try to dig in and understand it. For some reason we allow ourselves to be discouraged by fears of the bible being boring, or impossible to understand, or that we are too busy. None of these are true. The bible is not boring when we begin to grasp what it says. If there was ever a culture in the history of humanity that had a leg up – in interpreting the bible, it would be us. We have biblegateway.com, commentaries, and modern translations!!! And finally – no one is too busy to eat. At least daily. It’s all a matter of what is most important to me... and the reality that - I get to CHOOSE what is most important to me.

Wanna help me test my theory? If you do... try this: Don’t allow yourself to be intimidated – but for 3 weeks - actually read the bible – even study it a bit – just try. I suspect that if you try you will discover it is not as daunting as you feared. Perhaps it will even bring life! If you feel like you’ve tried that already and it didn’t work... try again. What do you have to lose?

What if we became a generation of people who were into the Word PERSONALLY, DAILY, DEEPLY. How could the world not be changed by such a generation?

Who IS the boss of me?

2007-10-18T14:01:00.000-07:00

So it’s been awhile. One of the reasons I want to blog is to discipline myself to write and record what is going on in my head and heart. I find it helps me process what I am experience when I write about it. That said, I have neglected this discipline of late. I’m back!

Over the last year, especially the transition of coming to Edmonton, I have been consumed by a single repeated question in my walk with God, life, and ministry. That question is:

“How do I know that I am in total obedience to God?”

As I read the scriptures – I am more and more aware of how huge obedience is. I see it everywhere in scripture, every time I see the word “LORD” spelled with all capitals. God is LORD and master of all. He is the LORD of my life – so my primary responsibility to Him is obedience.

Now, on any given day I don’t believe that I am disobedient. I mean – I’m not burdened by any big scandalous sins at the moment. I have not said “no” to God that I am aware of. I know I sin daily, and try to repent just as often, but am I “totally obedient”? Am I ignoring a subtle voice calling me to change something, to sacrifice something? Am I unaware of God convicting me, inviting me? I believe God is often speaking (not always), but am I listening when He speaks? In the same way I can get a ticket, even if unaware of the speed limit on that road – so I am responsible for what God is calling me to, even if I am unaware of it. Being aware only makes me slightly more responsible.

I am referring mostly to God’s personal communication with me. But what of all the things revealed in scripture. Not merely rules and regulations, but principles and values. In a moment the question of obedience becomes overwhelming.

So... How do I know that I am in total obedience to God? Can I even possibly hope to know? Is it a never ending, insurmountable question of achieving perfection? I don’t think so... here’s where I’m at right now...

God says "Be holy (perfect), because I am holy." (1 Peter 1:16). But we also know that God is patient and merciful – and all about the process. So I ask myself – “Am I in the process of becoming Holy-er?” Rather than be consumed by my failure at perfection (which is the whole point of the law - Romans and Galatians), I am inspired by His voice calling me to be Holy – ONE THING AT A TIME. In other words...

“LORD, what is the one thing right now which I need to hear from you, and be obedient in?”

Now THAT question is simple, and freeing. It is just like all those stories in scripture where God asks one thing at a time. Look at the life of King Saul; “...go wipe out the Amalekites”. “But Lord – I kept stuff to sacrifice to you...” “But you didn’t do the one thing I commanded of you”. Then the famous passage “...to obey is better than sacrifice” (1 Samuel 15:22). If I can take care of the one thing God has put His omniscient finger on, then I can know that I have been obedient.

I am cultivating this need; at the end of the day – I need to lay my head on the pillow and know that I am obedient to my King. I’m not actually looking for the voice of God saying – “You are finally perfect”. Instead – I am looking for my heavenly father to say. “I am pleased with your obedience today my son.”

“... because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.”
Hebrews 10: 14

Building a Young Adults ministry

2007-06-29T15:10:00.000-07:00

As a rule in ministry – I stick to the time honoured leadership adage; “I don’t really know what I’m doing” (Moses, Gideon, Jeremiah, etc.) I guess I know some things, but ultimately I want to stay dependant on God for all I aspire to do. Speaking of aspirations, I am presently trying to build a thriving young adult community that is characterized by a hunger for God, passionate worship, deep relationships, belonging for people of any kind, and a mind to change the world outside the church walls, as well as within.
So how is that done exactly? Well, I’ll share a little of what I am doing and we’ll see how it goes... I guess one of my ambitions is to “build it right” – like Mike Holms. I’ve seen too many Young Adult ministries get really big, and THEN try to add quality, and values to the community, with mixed success. I’d rather start small, KNOWING who we are and what we’re about – so that as we grow – we can fight to maintain and deepen that identity, that quality. For instance, the way we worship – with freedom. I ask myself; “what kinds of things are okay in our worship times? What do we value?” Then we talk about those things all the time, and act on them. In our case, values like, passion, risk, creativity, and intimacy have come up as we prayerfully form our gatherings. I guess the question is “who are we in worship?”
That question can be applied to a lot of key things. Who are we in reaching the lost? Who are we in following Jesus as disciples? Who are we in relationship with each other? I feel that, as we begin to answer these questions – THEN we have what we need to build our gathering. Instead of inviting people to an event – we can invite people into an identity. Be it an invitation to Thursday night, or lunch on Sunday, or a social event on Saturday, but it is all the same identity, the same family. We call ours “facechurch”. This thinking equips us to bring church to a friend – rather than just bringing a friend to church. In other words – we can take these values, this identity with us to work or school, or the mall!

To this end I have prayerfully looked for partners. Not just leaders, because I expect to have a good number of leaders. Partners are leaders who share a bond, demonstrating by their example – the kind of deep relationships we want to build. Partners share more than the work load, they share the spiritual and emotional burdens of life and ministry. They also share the joys and victories. With these partners I have formed a “Vision Team”. This is my cell group, my key leaders. Next, I hope to form a core group of people who believe in the vision, and own the identity. This, more than anything else, will be what draws people into fellowship with us. I hope that this core group will commit to radically follow Jesus. They can lead cells and reach out to friends. People will feel drawn to the love we have for each other (John 13:35).

Imagine a coffee house full of people, live music in the corner, and the sound of an espresso machine in the background. Fragrance and conversation fills the air. You’re a visitor – don’t really know anyone yet. Now imagine that this group embraces you – draws you in, but they’re unrelenting in their personal passion for God and their devotion to Christ. These people are the real deal, not perfect – but authentic... and they want you to journey with them. This is the kind of identity I hope to be a part of.

Pressure

2007-06-12T08:42:00.001-07:00

It’s so easy to get wound up real tight with all that is going on in life these days. I’m amazed at the amount of stress most of us carry around and think its “normal”. When I stop for a moment, I realize that much of the pressure I’m under comes from the expectations of other people. Sometimes these expectations are figments of my imagination. In other words – I allow myself to be stressed by things which may not even exist. I submit to expectations or opinions that no one has actually placed on me. Maybe they spring from my personal fears and insecurities. Or perhaps they are fashioned by that crazy human tendency... the one where I find ways to beat myself up in a misguided attempt to be better. Can anyone relate?
Well, if you are like me, then it’s worth remembering that I am performing for an audience of one. There is only one opinion that ultimately matters most. And I have it on good authority that His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matt. 11: 28-30).

Online Community, Part 2

2007-05-18T12:08:00.001-07:00

It’s been 6 weeks since a bunch of us joined facebook. I have some observations, and many more questions. Pick one and comment away!

We have 35 people on our “WECA Young Adults” group page, about a dozen more than the number coming out on any given Thursday night (to have community in person). Online - we send cute messages, post bizarre pics, and find long lost friends... When we get together, we joke around about the popularity of facebook, and explain it to the people who haven’t heard about it yet. But does this conversation piece lead to any deeper connections? I suppose it could, I’m just not certain it has. I do find that when we see each other (Thursdays, Sunday etc. We do talk alot about facebook topics... coffee in church, that funny photo of you, Stephen Harper is my friend etc. So maybe this online community could be a spark igniting deeper stuff? Is it like any other common interest... be it a favourite TV show, NHL playoffs, or the weather? Which leads me to the following question...

Is it possible that we just don’t know how to make the leap from surface relationships to meaningful community? We’d like to, we just don’t know how.

Does facebook fill a void in my life created by my inability to deepen my relationships?

Or am I making too much of this whole thing?

Inspired

2007-04-25T13:12:00.000-07:00

I am setting aside time on Wednesdays to study the Word, pray, and read. Every few months I visit Ron Cole's Blog. Each time I do I find myself confronted, inspired, and occasionally confused... but it's so good for me (thanks Ron). I just read an article that Ron highlited called; "the iGen manifesto" by Rex Miller. This is my first exposure to him as an author, but I like what I read. It's all about this generation's uniqueness, and how it relates to church. Read the full article here. He proposes a list of distinctives that help us understand the culture of this generation. I'd love to read your thoughts on them...

Every revolution needs a manifesto. Here are opening salvos for the iGen Manifesto. But Web 2.0 is collaborative, so I expect to see many additions to the Manifesto. Check out these first 11 items, and see if you can add to them:

We expect content on demand! Access to plentiful, accessible content—when, where and how we want it.
We expect Open Source resources! Content needs to be readily available to rip, mix and burn for novel use.
Amateurs are cool, professionals are old school. The root word for amateur is “to love.” Amateurs play because of their passion, not because of their position. Content is easy—passion is rare.
We expect a Participation Context in every phase of church life. We, the congregation, want to co-create our experience. “Let everyone come with a psalm and hymn and a spiritual song.”
We want a Platform for involvement not a viewer’s forum. We want church transformed from a place of attraction and content transfer to a platform of resources to connect, create and grow.
We do not need more content—we need more Mentors! We want leaders to shift from being prime movers and “franchise” attractions to mentors and catalysts—this was once called “servant-leadership.”
We want contexts for social networking and a radical shift away from the current activity machine. We want church to be more like an extended family and open bazaar of exchange and service to one-another.
We want to redefine the local church as the local church! We want to see ourselves as one congregation interconnected and interdependent with the other congregations in our community.
We want to talk and act globally not as though there were three separate worlds (the good people, the communists and those poor developing countries).
We want to see artificial boundaries dissolve and a convergence of church, charity, community and commerce.
We are the Long Tail. We want to be taken off the shelf and to make a difference. We want to move away from a mass-market approach.

What could church look like? Seriously I want you to dream with me, and help build it!

Partners

2007-04-13T12:18:00.000-07:00

If you’re like me, you spend too much time worrying about what people think. Most of it doesn’t matter at all, and much of what I fear people think, isn’t really thought by anyone. The enemy is always after me in this regard. So I repeatedly do battle for my mind – to re-align my thoughts to the truth that... it is what God thinks of me that matters, a distant second is what my wife thinks, and a remote third is everyone else.
In one of these almost daily battles a thought occurred to me...
I am trying to partner with Godly men and women to build a spiritual community of Young adults. BUT, I have actually been worrying too much about what the un-involved people think, and rarely considering what my “partners” think. The people who are investing in the vision with me. How messed up is that? It actually goes against one of my aims... to assemble a community of people who are on the same page FIRST. Then reach out to and include fringe people, seekers, sceptics, and outsiders, from a place of strong identity.

Does anyone know what I mean?

As is often the case, a coffee with one of my “partners” has helped set me straight. And several loving boots to the butt from my wife. Thank you honey.

Finally...
GO FLAMES!

Online community

2007-03-27T14:16:00.000-07:00

I’ve been thinking about a couple things...

First... Acts 2: 42-47 is a sweet window into first century Christian community, wow. I’m envisioning what a modern translation of this looks like. Do we sell all our stuff, do we worship together every day. Why does food seem to matter so much? Do we really understand how to break bread with each other? Are we ready for people to be saved DAILY?

Second... how significant is online community? I’ve given in to the sweeping pressure to join the Facebook world. I’m such a lemming. But I have a secret agenda (that makes being a lemming OK). My secret agenda is to get into as many online communities as I can with young adults in Edmonton. Perhaps if we are all on the same platform, and begin to enjoy some measure of online relationship – maybe that can help draw us into actual face to face community. What do you think?
If you’re not in the mood to think, just go make a facebook (use the link above) and join the community.

Dating

2007-03-16T08:10:00.000-07:00

Thank the creator, I've found the person I will date for the rest of my life. But most of the people I work with haven't. So I hereby declare it - "Romance Week" on my blog.

To start the conversation off, take a look at this article I found on MSN. Then leave your feedback... especially if you are a person looking for a Godly mate. And remember - the opinions expressed in the folowing article are not neccesarily those of the blogger...

Click here to read the article

Kingdom of church?

2007-03-08T13:20:00.000-08:00

Alot is being said about the church these days. So I have a question for you...

Is the Kingdom of God synonymous with the Church?

Really think about it - it's not as easy to answer as you might think. Then post your thoughts.

House Pictures

2007-02-15T08:14:00.000-08:00

Thanks to those of you who keep praying for us. The adjustment to a new life is slow, and very hard at times - but worth it. God is doing something here - and we get to be in the middle of it!

More pics of our new place here:

http://www.photosite.com/rpetkau/Album6/

Alien vs. Chameleon

2007-01-30T12:06:00.000-08:00

I was reading in 1 Peter, and I noticed the word “Aliens”. This comes at a time when I am thinking about the way people see us as Christians. A lot of emergents like to talk about being relevant, and so do I. but Peter here uses imagery of, aliens, foreigners, immigrants, to describe our place in the world. This is clearly his way of fleshing out what it means to be “holy”. Holy means “set apart” in most New Testament applications.

But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."

So the apostle Peter tells me to stand out from the crowd, to NOT fit in, to live a life that reflects the moral perfection of God (an Old Testament definition of “holy”).

My question is… does this contradict the move to be relevant?

A more prominent biblical writer Paul, says in 1 Corinthians 9: 22-23

Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.

Do these guys agree? Does the bible contradict itself?
I have my own thoughts on this, but what do YOU think?

Emerging Truth?

2007-01-19T13:49:00.000-08:00

I’ve recently spoken with someone, who is of the impression that elements within the emerging church want to throw out the literal interpretation of scripture. He’s a brilliant and gifted bible teacher, and it seems he is not alone in his opinions. He called the emerging church “a group within the ranks of evangelical Christianity that is attacking the sufficiency of scripture”. I asked him where he got this idea – he points to some things said by “leaders” in the emerging church… things like “we can’t know what scripture really says/means”. Apparently these people want to decide for themselves what scripture says. He's getting me some info on it.
At any rate, I felt pigeon-holed, painted with the same brush as some wack job. As a part of the emerging church I embrace the literal interpretation of scripture. I want to build my life on the Word of God, it’s my bread, my light, my life. However I’m eager to challenge taboos of my day that are based in tradition and church culture rather than on scripture. I’m willing to investigate and even re-evaluate things that I was taught about what the bible “says”. I wonder if this is the kind of sentiment my academic friend might be misinterpreting. I’m gonna ask him.

a REAL Blizzard

2007-01-10T08:18:00.000-08:00

Hello from Edmonton!
Jaime and I arrived last week, after a harrowing 3 day drive through blowing snow and slush. When we got here it was sunny and above zero... but alas, not any more. Today is apparently the worst blizzard here since 89!
At any rate - God has been faithful, and we are now moved into our new home YAY!!! Everything is still in boxes, but that takes time.

We don't have internet at the house yet - so don't feel like we are ignoring you.

People are really grat here, but it feels so weird to not know anyone. So please keep praying for Jaime and I. this adjustment will be hard, and take some time. We miss Sidney... but that is normal I guess. We know God has brought us here, and we are glad.
Pray for God to connect us with those who will be partners in vision, "spiritual stomes" which God will build us in with, to form real community (2 Peter).

I'll post more later.

WE BOUGHT A HOME!!!

2006-12-13T17:18:00.000-08:00

You don't even understand!
The idea of owning our own home has been a dream for Jaime and I for years. We prayed, we saved, we were blessed with help from our parents... and this last weekend God led me to the house. It's a brand new 1/2 duplex in Edmonton, 3 min. from the church! we prayed that God would hold the place for us. As I saw it I knew that God had miraculously kept THIS place from being sold... for us. Thank you Lord. The deal has gone through and the documents are being signed!

On another note... does anyone want this stereo?

FREE STUFF!!!

2006-12-04T16:19:00.000-08:00

This is your chance to own a piece of “Rob and Jaime” memorabilia! Seeing as we’re moving, we have stuff to give away, and stuff to sell!

Free Fan!

Womens Medium rain jacket!

Various Jedi Garments... FREE!

Virtually new Dehumidifyer for sale... $100 or best offer!

Stay tuned, there may be more crap… er… I mean, priceless items available.

Moving On

2006-11-28T11:36:00.000-08:00

At long last God has led us to the next phase of our life and ministry. On January 7th 2007 I will start my new position as Young Adults Pastor at West Edmonton Christian Assembly www.weca.com
God has been so faithful to lead us to this church. He has systematically opened all the doors one by one, and led us to an amazing opportunity. WECA is a big church, but is a place where ministry and leadership are real, and not bogged down with religious baggage. Jaime and I are so excited that we get to help lead a great group of young adults into a revolution of what “church” can look like! We get to take action in all the things we have been learning this year about church and culture. The struggles of 2006 are beginning to make more sense as we glimpse a snapshot of our future. I am so exited that I will get to “run” in my giftings and calling in ministry.
I’ll admit I’ve grown soft – living on the Island. I will have to adjust to Alberta winters… but Jaime – she’s lived here her whole life (although born in Edmonton). The coldest she’s ever experienced was – 20. She’s in for a real adjustment. We’re taking this as an adventure. I just think of the ice planet Hoth from Star Wars.

We’re going to miss so many people. We have made relationships here in Sidney that run so deep – they are like family! Thanks to those of you who have been praying for us, it means alot – God is SO faithful. Pray that we can buy a home (we’ve already put an offer on a SWEET townhouse!)

And to our new friends in Edmonton – I really hope you like us! Let’s change the world together!

Stay Tuned…

Living Stones

2006-11-15T15:32:00.000-08:00

So I’m working out this thought about biblical community. I found a couple of passages of interest. Rather than try to compose a teaching based only on this, I'll just ask a few interesting questions. Give me your input and let's see where we end up.

1. Do you think that there is a connection between these two things:

First, in Matthew 16:18 Jesus re-names Simon – Peter, (or “Rock”).

Simon Peter answered, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."
Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.”
Matthew 16:18

Second, Peter’s illustration (later in his life) of the church as a building made up of “living stones” in 1 Peter 2: 4-9?

As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him— you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. For in Scripture it says:
1 Peter 2: 4-9

2. If these two things are related, what is the significance to Peter? To us?

3. Is Peter teaching that our very relationships are in fact a temple, containing the presence of the Living God, and enabling us to perform priestly sacrifices of ministry?

4. Where and how are we to live out this “temple community”? (Hint 2: 12).

Foreign Policy

2006-10-25T12:14:00.000-07:00

Something came into focus for me while I was watching TV news coverage of the national NDP party voting on their position regarding the war in Afghanistan.
The sentiment of most members seemed to be that we (Canada) have no business waging war in some other country. Their affairs are their own, and we are interfering. I could not disagree more. Let me phrase that another way… that’s crap! The fact that some wars are a mistake is not in dispute. My opinion is that while war is horrible, it is necessary in today’s world. Perhaps we will someday reach a place globally where war is done away with, but “it is not this day”. So… it remains that whatever democratic countries able to afford a military, are morally obliged to serve the world by defending the helpless and destroying oppression and injustice. The question is not if we should be at war, but where we should be at war. If not Afghanistan, fine, but then where?
I hate seeing images of coffins draped with my flag on TV. But I know that those young men and women signed up to give their lives to a Canada that will make a difference in the world. They signed up to FIGHT bad people. That is a noble thing, not a barbaric act. Many ignorant Canadians dishonor their sacrifice by believing that war is not necessary. If those dreamers would go live in Iraq, Iran, North Korea, or Afghanistan, I wonder if they would learn appreciate a little rescue.
The world is a giant neighborhood, complete with rich and poor, police and criminals. I want the police to have guns, and know how to use them. I don’t agree that the US is the world’s police. But someone has to be! And Canada must be represented on that force. If the UN won’t do it, then we have to find another way.
The biggest problem with my sentiment here is that it relies on our government to decide where to war against evil in the world. Where to pay the cost of our young blood and know that it is well spent. I don’t envy them those decisions, but they have to rise to the challenge and lead with integrity, and determination.For a hundred years Canada has fought injustice and oppression around the world. It is part of our history, our identity. I for one am proud of that. I challenge you Canada, read the papers differently, vote differently, or at least, buy a soldier a coffee.

What Would a Smart Person Do?

2006-10-08T12:36:00.000-07:00

Those of you who know me will undoubtedly have heard me utter this question a thousand times. Recently I was musing how this has become part of a life philosophy for me. Not just trying to be a “smart person”, but actually asking myself the deeper question “who do I want to be?”
Character is huge – it is at the bottom of all I am and do. I want to live out the pure man of God that my Creator designed me to be. I see character in three ways…

The first facet of character is the actual reality of who I am, the good, the bad, and the ugly. This is the real character I am regardless of how I might see myself. My true character will eventually come out of me and show who I really am – so I better work on being real to the core, and not a fraud.

Second is the way I see myself. I’m sure we all can agree that on any given day – our self-image can get pretty screwed up. The challenge is to learn ways to see clearly. Good friends, mentors, accountability partner’s etc. will help. Most of all I want to se what God sees when he looks at me. This requires that I ask Him, and learn how to listen, regularly!

The last way I see character (and this is my point) is who I want to be. Special thanks to Switchfoot for the song that goes “…this is your life, are you who you want to be?” So I need to ask myself; “who do I want to be?” This picture in my head needs to be the identity God has created me for, or as much of it as I can see. This allows me to envision my growth. It equips me to deal with choices in life by asking; “what would the person I want to be - do in this situation?” Kinda’ like “what would a smart person do?” These questions help me act on who I want to be, rather than on selfish impulses, or sinful nature patterns. I have the choice to act from my growing character! Don't ask "what would Jesus do?" Jesus lives in you! Instead ask "what would I do?"

This philosophy has been snowballing in my head for a while – thanks Reid for helping me decide that it’s worth writing down.

Train naked

2006-09-29T11:42:00.000-07:00

Ever since I started comparing my journey as a disciple of Jesus Christ to the life of a Jedi, I have been enamored with the verb “train” (training, trained) as it appears in scripture. I assume this is because of the obvious Jedi context. The training of a Jedi is a mysterious journey, undertaken by a student (padawan), and facilitated by life itself, and the living out of the mission of the Jedi (guardians of peace and justice). The “training” is guided by a master Jedi, who has himself been trained, by another before him (ie. Mentoring). So I envision my training as a disciple of Jesus much the same way, and the training I offer to those coming up behind me.

Recently I was intrigued by a passage in Hebrews, and when I dug in deeper, I found this word again “train”. I decided to keep digging, because that is what a disciple of Jesus does with the Word, especially when there is time on his hands.
Note: The Bible is like picking your nose… you gotta dig deep, and you have to rub it of on someone else!

The word train appears in Hebrews 5:11 - 6:3… feel free to crack open your bible and follow along (in the voice of Strong Bad). The author of Hebrews is rebuking the readers for not progressing in their faith. They are not equipped to deal with the teaching he wants to provide for them, almost as if they are too spiritually immature. Apparently it is their own fault. As a pastor, this is a passion of mine – to see people take responsibility for their own discipleship! If you think that going to church is how you are discipled (trained to be like Jesus)… think again!

“…But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.” (V. 14, italics mine)

You and I can equip ourselves for advanced teaching of scripture by training ourselves! Constant study and use of scripture trains us.

This word “trains” is the Greek word “Gumnazo”, ( goom-nad'-zo). It means essentially to train naked… Weird? Not really…

to exercise naked (in a palaestra or school of athletics)
to exercise vigorously, in any way, either the body or the mind

As you may have already heard, athletics of this era (like the Olympics), were all done in the nude. Competitors performed un-hindered (Heb. 12) by clothing. Not that I am recommending you do this today (especially not in ice hockey), it just helps to understand what the author was referring to. The author of Hebrews could have used another word but he chose this one… interesting. Consider that you and I can exercise with the Word of God in a devoted and un-hindered way, as if we were preparing for an Olympic event! What a challenge! Notice that this training prepares us to hear the Word (say on Sunday), it does not result from hearing preaching. The responsibility to train like this is mine alone – it’s not the pastor’s fault if I’m not growing!

I own a bible that used to belong to an elderly woman of God who died a couple years ago. Just seeing her scribbled notes tells me that she took responsibility to train personally. It’s almost like this approach has skipped a generation in the church. The next generation of disciples must bring it back! Train naked!

Note:
This Greek word (Gumnazo) is also the same word used by Paul in 1 Tim 4: 7-8. He urges Timothy to train himself to be godly in this same way.

Velvet Elvis

2006-09-18T12:44:00.000-07:00

I am reading “Velvet Elvis” by Rob Bell. He’s the guy in the Nooma videos. I just read the portion titled “Yoke”.

I am being rocked by what Rob Bell has written. I find that assumptions I have held for over 20 years about the bible are being challenged. That doesn’t mean my assumptions are wrong (although some have to be – no one has it all right). But it does mean that once again, I have to re-evaluate what I believe about the Word of God. I think that is part of the author’s point… that the Word is “alive” and therefore I must have a living, changing relationship with it. Unfortunately I, like most people, want to find hard and fast “rules” to give myself a sense of security… a sense of; “I have this figured out so no I can move on”. A sense of “this is what the bible is, this I what the bible says – therefore I know how to live my life”. I guess it’s a desire for an unhealthy sense of closure regarding the “Living and active” word of God. This must change for me… what about you?

Rob bell explains “binding and loosing” as the wrestling with, and deciding on, what the scriptures mean and what to do about them. Action is a key. I initially feel very uncomfortable about the idea of giving everyone license to interpret the scriptures for themselves and live accordingly. But really, that is what we are doing anyways? I guess I feel uncomfortable with this because most of us have not developed the skill or discipline to interpret the Word for ourselves. That, in my opinion, is a crying shame. Unfortunately we as a culture have surrendered the power of interpreting scripture to pastors and leaders who make these crucial decisions for us. Don’t get me wrong – it is a good thing to learn from those who are devoting themselves to study, interpretation, and communication of scripture… BUT, that can’t be our only means of processing the word of God and making decisions. I’ve always assumed that there IS a right interpretation for every passage – I just have to find it. Rob doesn’t seem to discourage this theory – he just shows how it is meant to be done in community and humility. And that it is my responsibility as a disciple to “bind and loose” and then live it out. I still have an overwhelming desire to “get it right”, and that is a good thing. But I have to admit that I am often less than accepting of other peoples journey of interpretation. I am very frustrated about how some people use the scriptures to promote their “revelation” or agenda. I guess that is part of the call of leadership – to do what we can, to get what God is intending us to get from His Word, by all means necessary… and to teach it, and hold people to it. This has driven to study more and understand more about His Word. And to know His Holy Spirit who will guide me into all truth.

The Church Experiment part 2

2006-09-08T11:24:00.000-07:00

This trip to Alberta was an opportunity for Jaime and I to hear God speak to us on a lot of levels. I’m trying to reflect and write these down. Here goes…
I found myself walking on a mountain trail hiking up to a remote place called Hidden Lake with my wife, 2 close friends, my brother and his wife. We talked of the Kingdom as we walked and looked on awestruck at God’s amazing creation (no… not just meaning my wife, she was the centerpeice of an incredible backdrop of art). At some point I jokingly said, “… this is the best church I’ve had in months”. Then it struck me like a lightning bolt... It really was. Here I was worshipping the creator with my whole body as I tried to take in what He has so artfully sculpted, specifically the immense mountains towering above me, and the cascading waterfalls. Not only was I worshipping in awe, but I was sharing the experience with close relationships who were on the journey of faith with me. This was the best “corporate worship” I had been a part of in a long time. And add to that that we talked of the Kingdom, culture, church, scripture and faith as we went along… this ROCKED!!! I am inspired to take something of this experience of church with me wherever I go. Find a way to have “church” outside of the building people!

Vacation

2006-08-27T16:15:00.000-07:00

We’re back from two weeks of vacation in Alberta... well one week. See, for the first week I was the speaker at a Pentecostal Youth Camp called “Power Zone”. I was a little nervous about preaching again (after 7 months), but also excited to be contributing to the Kingdom in this way. God had put some stuff on my heart for them.
I met some amazing young leaders, and saw God deeply touch lives. It was awesome to be a part of it. I preached for 3 nights. The first night was on The Love of the Father – (stuff needed to be broke open in some hearts). Next night was the call to a life of discipleship – really following Jesus Hard Core. Then my last night was the “One Month Challenge” to take the Word of God with you everywhere for 30 days… and yes I used the example of a Jedi and his lightsaber. It was so good to spend some time with Barry Marsden, a man of God whom I have come to admire.
Thank you, to those who were praying for me, I felt it. Pray for all the students who took steps toward living the life of a revolutionary in the Kingdom of God – they will need it! The enemy doesn’t want them to survive, let alone succeed.

After the camp, Jaime and I went backpacking in the Rockies with my brother, his wife, and our friends Todd and Julie. We saw a Grizzly from about 150 ft away (AWESOME!!!) and had a great time. I have wanted to take Jaime into the mountains like this since before we were married.

The Church Experiment

2006-08-06T17:08:00.000-07:00

The last 6 months have been a really interesting experiment in church for Jaime and I. The journey we are on, I would not recommend for most people, but for us – this is a unique time in our life and we feel that God is showing us some things, teaching, and preparing us to be effective in the current reformation of what it means to be “the Church” in our changing culture. I thought I would begin to chronicle my observations so far. If you hate long blogs skip down to the point form stuff below. I’ll distinguish between the church that I dream for, and the “church” that we often have on Sunday morning by using quotation marks.

First of all let’s back up… In January of this year, I resigned as Youth Pastor at Sidney Pentecostal Church, a position I had held for over 10 years. For a host of reasons we would not attend the church we left (nothing wrong with the church or the leadership) we simply knew that in order for us to move on emotionally, and for those we pastored to do the same – we must be absent. We attended various churches over the next few weeks, but soon came to the conclusion that we were still so emotionally attached to our former church that we were not able to open ourselves to new relationships, at least not yet. Sunday mornings became increasingly frustrating, we were merely going to churches to avoid people, sing songs (not collective worship), and hear a sermon. We realized that for a time – we needed to… stop going to “church”. This was hard for us to accept at first, after all, we had both grown up believing that skipping “church” was bad. Thus began a very interesting journey.

The first thing we decided that we needed to find a temporary way of learning (other than sermons). So we began to read more than usual. “Blue like Jazz” “Velvet Elvis”, “A Generous Orthodoxy”… books that would challenge our thinking of church. These choices were unintentional at first but now we see the hand of God in it. Secondly we decided that we needed “Community”. So we reached out for a few close friends that we could connect with on a deeply significant level (“Koinonia”). This has been harder to do, and we’re still working on it.

So far I have had a lot of revelations from “the outside”, and seen things I had not seen before. Namely…

1.Church is both about learning and about community, BUT not in that order.
- I used to assume that a good church was one where you came to learn the Word first, and experience community as a secondary thing. This is not entirely biblical.
- I’ve come to believe church is supposed to about deep relationships at least as much as it is about preaching the word.
Spiritual learning is the responsibility of each disciple for him/herself, NOT the pastor. The shepherd guides the sheep to good pasture – he doesn’t “feed” them.
Koinonia relationships spawn learning experiences and conversations automatically. Good teaching, while valuable, does not spawn relationships.
- Jaime and I have found that in the absence of deep relationships – Sunday morning “church”, has lost all life for us.

2.Church really has nothing to do with Sunday morning.
- I know that sounds scandalous, but really Sunday morning worship has been a recent development in the life of the church (at least our version of it).
- Showing up, shaking hands, singing songs, listening to a sermon, then going home is not church. At least not by itself.
- Add to the above, deep relationships and personal involvement in ministry and you may have something.
- I dream for an amazing church that has no Sunday morning service – just to break out of the mold! Relationships, serving and accepting others (inc. the lost), real community, worship, learning, good coffee… Ahhh…

3.Community is more than seeing someone once a week!
- The coolest part about my time with Sidney Pentecostal Youth was that we’d see our friends 3-4 times a week – we could actually JOURNEY TOGETHER!!!
- If your lifestyle does not allow you to connect more than once a week with close Christian relationships – then you should change your lifestyle to find a way, or - give up on trying to have real church.
- Our busy culture is custom designed (not by God) to keep us from experiencing real church – we must change that.

4.(Minus the deep relationships…) I don’t want to go to “church” on Sunday, and I’m a Christian! – How on earth can I expect a non-Christian neighbor to want to come!
- If I’m not in deep relationships with others in my “church” – I have no business inviting anyone!
- Otherwise I’m modeling dull religion not life giving community.
- It would be far better to invite them to a BBQ with Christian friends, and really BE FRIENDS!
- Alpha rules! – Many churches should quit Sunday morning and just do Alpha.

Well… I’m sure I’ll finish these observations at some point, but that’s the extent of our experiment thus far. Jaime and I are praying that this transition time will end soon and we can settle into a new community of believers and put down roots.
Until next time…

Be part of the solution- not part of the problem!

Some things add up

2006-06-29T13:58:00.000-07:00

After 6 months of being out of "full time ministry", I find myself struggling to see the big picture at times. The enemy attacks, and I wonder what all I have accomplished, and if I am merely a self absorbed person who requires a paycheck in order to be a minister of Christ… (These are lies from the enemy I know, but we still have to acknowledge that the thoughts are there, and do battle with them daily).

Anyways, I recently dug out the files containing the notes for every sermon/message/talk that I have done since I came to Sidney in 1995. I am looking for some notes to help me prepare my messages for the Power Zone Camp in Alberta this August. I had to stand back and just look at 10 years of preaching the Gospel, and calling people to discipleship. It was quite a moment for me, a little look at the bigger picture. I remember the faces of all the young disciples I've had the privelage to sit and discuss these ideas with over coffee. It was a nice reminder from God that there is more than what I am feeling right now. I am a part of a larger story, even if this chapter is about rest and reflection – not necessarily about action. Even as I write this I feel better, knowing that I am following my King and not “missing out”. Thanks to those of you who have persisted in praying for Jaime and I. You may never know how much we appreciate it!

Changing of the guard

2006-06-12T16:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in life it is good to mark significant changes with some act or symbol. It helps us remember and process the past. We call them milestones.
For those who know me well, you will know that I have had my 1995 Honda since it was new. On that day in June 95, I hung a plastic model of a Klingon Bird of Prey (a cool spaceship) from the rear view mirror. I loved the Klingon warrior ethos, and the type of ship, so it was a natural thing to do. Over 10 years, my friends and students came to identify Rob’s car as the one with that particular ship hanging from the mirror.

Well… all things in life must change. And so today, June 12, 2006, After 11 years of faithful service, I have decided to retire the Bird of Prey. I know this will be hard for many of you to accept, but let me explain…
Jaime and I are in a time of transition that will lead to new adventure in the unknown. My car is no longer new, and I seriously pray that God will keep the old girl working, because I’m gonna need it. So I have reached further back into my childhood and drawn out an image that better reflects my relationship with my car heading into this era of life. An image that has perhaps signified my most lifelong and profound relationship with a vehicle. An image that embodies the words of a great man; “… She’ll hold together! ‘Hear me baby, just hold together…”

The Millennium Falcon.

Here’s to another 11 years of great memories.

Staying fresh

2006-05-28T11:54:00.000-07:00

Now that I’m not a pastor in my daily life, I find that I’m feeling really unspiritual and dispassionate. I know that I’m in a season of rest and healing, but still, I don’t like feeling distant from my God. Now, I know that much of what I feel is influenced by the enemy, planting destructive ideas in my head. I don’t want to give in to discouragement, so I take captive these thoughts and drag them before God as much as I can.

Anyways, I have found some fresh things that I wish to share (now that I’m feeling more together… HA!). I guess I am suffering from transition. I no longer worship with a group of people as much as I did as a youth pastor. I no longer study the word as much, talk about spiritual things in conversation, pray with people, speak truth to people etc. And as with all relationships – the more you cultivate them – the more rewarding they are. So of course I will feel a little weird about my connection to God now that I’m out of church ministry for a time. But this is an opportunity to forge a kind of connection with God that is more removed from my job. I get to be even more personal with Him in my spiritual disciplines.

So prayer has become more moment by moment, sharing my thoughts with God. Study has become good reading material. Worship is now conversations with my wife about the wonders of God. My passion for the Word has led me to try reading “the Message” paraphrase of the bible alongside my NIV in daily time with God. Seriously – if your relationship with the Word is not fresh and needs a boost – INVEST. Pick up a New Living Translation, or a copy of the Message “…just to shake things up” (Frozone). Remember the Message is not a translation, but a paraphrase. It is meant to give you a new perspective on the things written in the Bible. Not to replace you copy of the living Word.

I love my daily experience of God. He enjoys a good cup of coffee, and he has some great ideas on lightsaber building.

May the fourth be with you

2006-05-04T21:58:00.000-07:00

No it’s not a typo… in fact it’s a wonderfully special day celebrated by only a few throughout the world. It’s May 4th… the day you say to someone “May the 4th be with you”. MTFBWY was started by a guy I knew in college named Fred Middel, who took to writing it in people’s daytimers (this was before PDA’s). Since it’s humble beginning it has spread until now, it is celebrated by an estimated 10 – 20 people worldwide. Join in the celebration, and wish someone “May the 4th be with you”.

I’d like to coin a phrase

2006-04-16T13:34:00.000-07:00

The pride in me wants to be famous and have people quote me. Unfortunately, most of the things I say aren’t cool, and the few that are cool are inspired by the Holy Spirit – so It’s God who comes off looking cool, not me. I am quite happy with that last arrangement. I don’t want pride to take root in my life, again… But at the risk of sounding that way, I think I have come up with a real doozy! Perhaps this is another instance of Holy Spirit inspired cool, but maybe, just maybe, I’ve finally arrived.
The phrase is… are you ready? … “KINGDOM – COOL”!!!
It works like this: My wife gets to work at a spa with non-Christians who believe a lot of different (sometimes bizarre) things.

They all know she is a Christian and respect her. That’s cool. But when her gay co-worker asks her for advice, and even invites her to her home – that’s “Kingdom Cool”!
I guess it’s kinda’ like that “that’s Motrin pain” commercial, but better. Feel free to post your own examples of “Kingdom Cool”, and to use the term all you want… it’s Kingdom Property (I didn’t invent that one).

Deep Thoughts

2006-04-02T14:56:00.000-07:00

Okay,
So here is where you post your own Deep Thought as a comment. It must be original, not a Jack Handey quote!

I'll start us off with a gem I thought of today...

"Patience always pays off... except for those times when it doesn't."

(Rob Petkau)

Faith, I think...

2006-03-24T17:15:00.000-08:00

So I’ve been asked several times how I’m doing with the uncertainty of knowing what’s next in life, ministry, paying the bills, etc. I’m surprised to say that I’m doing quite well (Jaime too). I’ve started to wonder why I have not been more stressed about this transition, and I’ve come up with a couple thoughts.

Number one is the fact that I know a lot of people are praying for Jaime and I, and I know that makes a difference on a lot of levels.
More subtle is the idea that… I might have more faith than I have before in life. I know me, and I know how stressed I can get when facing the unknown. But after some adventures, and repeatedly experiencing the faithfulness of God, I am slowly changing. I think I just may have a little more of this kind of faith!Going along that line is the perspective I have been growing in for a few years now. I always say “God is my provider” but I was challenged a few years back by a friend to know what that means more intimately… that in fact God provides for me, not the church, or the board, or even my paycheck. God has seen fit to use those things to provide for me – but when that all ends, God is still my provider. Now I find myself seeing that after 4 or 5 years of holding to this “new perspective”, I have actually begun to believe it! Now I work as a sound technician. I know it is not my new job that provides for us financially, or the work of my hands, but God. He sees fit to use this temporary opportunity in his providing, so I will work hard, and honour Him for His provision. He is so faithful!

New Job

2006-03-18T16:08:00.000-08:00

Well it’s not ministry exactly (life is ministry), but I have a new temporary job. I am a technician with a company called Precision Audio. I’m doing electrical work, installing speakers, sound gear, video gear etc. I get paid well, but the job is only for a month or two. It feels good to be doing physical work again. I come home pretty tired. I enjoy working with my hands, my brain, and good tools. I get to do creative problem solving, which is another good thing for me. Plus I am learning lots of stuff from Larry – the pro electrician I work with.

Having spent much time in prayerful reflection… Jaime and I are hoping to find a church to go work in soon. It is our heart to minister with older youth and young adults as mentors. My dream is to spend my time teaching, speaking, and developing students to become ministers. I hope to work in a close staff situation that would allow me to pour into a younger youth pastor. Both Jaime and I enjoy counselling opportunities. Especially meeting one on one, over a cup of coffee with those students who are passionate about God. I feel called to the church, as weird as that sounds. While I am thrilled when a person comes to Christ for the first time, my heart aches for the bride of Christ to become less religious and more relevant to our world.
Having said that… we are ready to go wherever, and do whatever the King asks of us. So we’ll see what happens. God is so faithful!

My first pie

2006-02-27T15:29:00.000-08:00

An important part of a sabbatical is discovering the passions you were created by God to have, and what to do with them. God designed us to BE not to DO. As I explore this, I am drawn to pie. I had never made one on my own, but recently I was inspired by a friend named Alyssa who made her first pie for me… and it was amazing. I said to myself – I must one day learn to make pie. So I did. This is my first pie.

It is an apple pie. Not the best pie ever, but quite good nonetheless. I’m just posting this to inspire you all to discover your passion, and step out in it. I’ll leave you with the words of the sage Jack Handey;

“When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.”

Attending your own funeral

2006-02-20T15:39:00.000-08:00

So my former church (sounds weird to say) had a farewell gathering for Jaime and I on Saturday night. It was a wonderful time to say goodbye to everyone, and we really appreciated pastor John and the church blessing us like that. It felt a lot like going to your own funeral… you know; people saying all kinds of nice things about you from the front, or sharing special memories about how you had affected their life... a very strange experience.
I was touched by how so many people experienced God through Jaime and I. What a great thing to be used by God in someone’s life. He is so faithful in spite of my failures.
I remember thinking “be careful what you say, people (it seems) will remember!”

Have you ever finished reading an amazing book, and thought, “I wish it wasn’t over!” Well Jaime and I feel that way. But we are comforted by the knowledge that there is a second “book” in the series, and we can’t wait to begin reading, and continuing the adventure. This time in our life is over, and we feel some closure now. We know that some of these friendships we will keep for life. But we are beginning to pray and dream for what lies ahead. Pray with us, and for us. And stay tuned…

Creativity

2006-02-15T10:51:00.000-08:00

During this time off I have discovered something interesting about my creative process. I have always been a creative personality with all the strengths and weaknesses that go along with the territory; daydreaming, doodling, tunnel vision, hobbies, and fantasies. Like anything creativity can be both a strength and a weakness.
Lately I have found that I have been at my most creative, and since I have the time, I decided to consider… why? What is so different now, that allows me to be this way? (and I am enjoying it). The biggest things that stick out to me are 1. Time, 2. Focus, and 3. Inspiration.
Lately I have had time to allow my projects to roll around in my imagination for days on end without much interruption. This allows me to visualize and imagine how I am going to do certain things and solve obstacles. Normally I can’t do this – I have demands on my time and attention that take me out of that place.
Focus – is what I call the ability to put most other things aside and let my passions run with my imagination. Normally I’m not a person ruled by his passions this way, but for right now I think it is a healthy thing for me. If my hobbies become and obsession – then we have a problem.

The word artist comes to mind. I imagine artists require inspiration – motivation. For me (and I guess I am considering myself an artist) I am presently inspired by Star Wars, specifically the image of the Jedi, and the lightsaber. This imagery motivates me to create.

Now the challenge for me is in the long term. How do I apply what I am learning so that I can bring my creative artist side to bear on my life and work, the ministry? For all you artists out there… create! It’s in you because it’s in the nature of your maker! And he equips/anoints artists! (Exodus 31: 1-11).

Rest

2006-02-02T13:45:00.000-08:00

It has been over a month that I have been off work. But it has only been this last week that I have really begun to feel at rest. With all the details of taking a short notice sabbatical/stress leave, and then with it turning into resignation… Well life’s been it’s own kind of whirlwind lately.

But now, I am spending my time in my shop building lightsabers (go to the link to see them). I am feeling more creative and alive than I have in a long time! I’m enjoying my fencing classes with my wife and reading Star Wars adventures.

This time really is a blessing, but in order to accept it, I had to come to terms with God’s Grace in a new way.
I have had a hard time accepting this blessing from God because I know I don’t deserve it. I feel compelled to earn it, do my devotions, do something! But God had to come and tell me to let go and rest. It is a rare thing for me to advise anyone to take time off from their devotions, but that’s exactly what I had to do. And now, I realize that in the desert of this part of the journey, God has provided an oasis, where there is no stress, no worry for a time, all is provided for. Thank you Lord, you are so good to me.

Time to go

2006-01-16T11:58:00.000-08:00

This past weekend Jaime and I resigned as Youth Pastors at Sidney Pentecostal Church. This was not something we’ve been considering for a long time. It has only been since we began preparing for our sabbatical that God began to reveal some things to us. We began to think that maybe we only had a year left in ministry here, but as we discussed this with the pastor and he board – we all agreed that the best time for all involved was to make this sabbatical our farewell. Jaime and I really know that God has been in all the details of this process and final decision. We sense His peace and leading so clearly. This is His timing, and it is good, no matter how hard it is to leave.

The best way for me to express the reason for this decision, is that God has revealed to us that He is calling me to be more and more specific in my calling and giftings, and that would begin to be a strain on the leadership and structure of our small church. It is not fair to ask them to support me in my dreams and vision if that was not what the church most needed from their second staff member. I could begin to see this happening as I reflect on recent months. Then God stepped in o kind of say – “this means it’s time, time to move on”. It feels like God, as our king, has lovingly informed us that, after 10 years, this assignment is finished.

On Friday night, as I looked at the youth and the leaders we had discipled, I was so proud that we really had worked ourselves out of a job. Not proud of myself, but so proud of the caliber of people Jaime and I had the opportunity to serve. They will miss us, but they have everything they need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1). It’s like God was saying to me “look at these servants of mine – they will be fine, it’s okay for you to move on now.”

Here is the letter that I read to the church on Sunday morning…

When Jaime and I asked for time off due to burnout, it was our full intention to return refreshed and refocused for years of continued ministry here at Sidney Pentecostal Church. During the process where the pastor and board went about helping us make this happen, I began to realize some important things that I had not seen before. I had not realized that who God is calling Jaime and I to be, and God’s calling for this church, are leading in different directions. Not that one is wrong and the other right. Simply – it is time for us to move on. Therefore we have resigned as Youth Pastors of Sidney Pentecostal Church. We will not be returning after our leave.

Pastor John and the board have been very supportive of us in this difficult time, and we are all in full agreement that this is God’s will, and the best thing for the church and for us.
Jaime and I are deeply grieved to say goodbye to you who we have come to love so much. We know that this comes as a surprise to you, it is a really sudden change for us as well. But we know God is in this decision. We hope that you will bless us and continue to pray for us as we take some time to rest and reflect. We plan to spend the next few months seeking God for His will regarding the next steps in our adventure.

For ten years this church has given me a home and a spiritual family, you have given me food, and friends, and a place to make a difference. You have provided for my needs and given me a wife. And you have watched Jaime grow from a little girl into a woman of God. From the bottom of our hearts we bless you and we thank you.
It has been an honour to serve you.

Sabbatical

2006-01-05T17:06:00.000-08:00

In case you have not heard, Jaime and I are taking some time off to refresh and refocus. The church has graciously given me 3 months as stress leave (I was getting pretty burned out). Jaime is still working but we are both absent from all church stuff.
I have a great group of leaders who are running Sidney Pentecostal Youth in my absence. I’m sure they will discover that they need me far less than they think they do.

While I’m off I plan to do a lot of the things that fill up my energy level. Jaime and I will try to get enough money together to travel somewhere. We have signed up to take a fencing class together. Personally, I will spend a lot of time with God – learning to listen better, and hopefully be filled with a renewed passion for ministry. I will also immerse myself in my hobbies – they fill me up like nothing else in this world.

Jaime and appreciate all of you who are praying for us. Here are some things to pray for;
- Finances to travel
- Hearing from God
- Rest
- New perspective and passion
- Pie

I will post updates on this blog to keep you in the loop.

May His Force be with you.

Amazing Love

2005-11-17T12:01:00.000-08:00

I heard recently that the most important thing about you is what happens when you hear the name Jesus. In context – the speaker was referring to the fact that the single most important aspect of my faith is my ability to accept the Love of Christ. This causes me to pose the question to myself… “Rob, do you know how Jesus feels about you?” Oddly – I had to answer “no”. Up until this point I had accepted the “knowledge” that Jesus loves me this I know… but the real personal side of it was, that I feel Jesus is distant from me as an individual, and I am not aware of how He feels about me personally. Then it hit me; “I am not okay with not knowing!!!” I realized that I have to “KNOW” Jesus’ love for me. I have to understand that He passionately loves me personally or I run the risk of being nothing more than religious in my faith. It is the foundation of my relationship with God.
Like having my sight restored – I began to see how many things in my life were being motivated by the sense that I have to earn God’s favor. But wait a second, I’m a pastor, and I know that I am saved by grace. Imagine my embarrassment when I realize that a “works based faith” has crept it’s way into my life.
In our culture it’s so easy to feel that I have to earn God’s favor, or even His attention. The main reason for this flawed thinking is because… everyone else works that way. Even the best parent, cannot love unconditionally like Jesus does. Everyone in my world (and yours) loves based on performance, appearance, and what we do. Every one of us gets fed up, tired of forgiving, we’d rather love someone else… but not Jesus, he doesn’t work that way. He is the only one who can totally separate who I am from what I do (or fail to do). He is the only one who really loves me unconditionally, personally. And knowing this… really knowing it, is what motivates me to live my life for Him.

My King

2005-10-20T11:02:00.000-07:00

There is a powerful scene in the Two Towers. It is when King Theoden is talking to Gamling (his knight) before the battle of Helm’s Deep. Knowing that they will most likely die today, the king is painfully aware of their doom, and feels the weight of responsibility. He asks Gamling “who am I?”, Gamling answers “you are our king sire”… “and do you trust your king?” “your men will follow you to whatever end”.

Think of Gamling, pretend you were him in this scene. Here is your king… the guy who has let you down, failed to defend your family and friends because you are all about to die. His decisions and leadership has led you to this… you think:

“Maybe it wasn’t his fault, but the fact remains – we will all die here. Be that as it may, I choose to trust in, and follow him – he is my captain, and my hero, I love this man, and I will die for him. Does that make me insane, foolish, blind? No… that makes me a man of courage, conviction, love and sacrifice. I stand for this man’s cause, and in devoting myself to him – I find that I have value, honor and worth. How is all this sacrifice and service worth it? Why do I do it? Because… he is my king, and that’s how you serve your king. Anything less would make me a lesser man. I guess it’s more about me than about him in the end. I am a man of honor, love, courage, and sacrifice – because of the way I am devoted to my king – to whatever end.”

So here am I in the real world, 21st century. I too have a King... The King. Unlike Gamling’s king, mine IS perfect. However, my world despises the idea of living in servitude to someone… “That is not freedom” they say, “you need to be able to make your own decisions, to put yourself first, and follow your heart, not serve someone else”. Even the Christians around me have found a way to see God as their Savior, Father and best friend, but not their king. “I will serve you Jesus, but I want to have some say, some control of my own life. I want my faith in you to work like this…”

I am significant because of who I serve… and how I serve him reflects on me as a person.

Well I choose to follow you Jesus, my savior, my Captain, my King. You have my life, all of it. All that I have, all that I am, all my hopes, dreams, and even my failings – you have it all. Whatever you ask of me I will do. I Choose to love you, to believe in you, even if everything around me seems to say that you don’t love, that you aren’t just – I will believe. When it seems like you’ve left me – I will not abandon faith, when I don’t understand what you are doing and why, I will not lose faith. And when I am tempted, I will not break faith. You are my King, and I will follow you to whatever end.

Trapped in an elevator

2005-09-07T10:20:00.000-07:00

The phrase “trapped in an elevator” has always been a figure of speech to me. Someone might say something like; “the only thing worse than diarrhea is being trapped in a crowded elevator with it”… or; “I’m claustrophobic, I can’t imagine being trapped in an elevator.” It has always been just something you say, that is, until recently.
On the way back from our missions trip to Ukraine, we had a day off in the city of Kiev. We stayed in a huge old building that served as a cheap hotel. Well this hotel’s tiny old soviet designed elevator became the location for one of my most memorable moments of the trip.
It seems that the western custom of cramming people into an elevator is not something you do in parts of Eastern Europe. This old elevator was about 3 feet by 4 feet, and 7 feet tall. Just enough room for 6 guys, we thought. The first hint of a problem came after lifting a mere one inch off the ground floor, the elevator struggled and the power went out. A silent pause, and then my bud Mike says to the rest of us; “… at least we don’t have far to plummet”. So we tried to force open the doors, but they were locked. We managed to get them open about 2 inches for air, it was getting really hot! By this time people from our team and some Russian speaking Ukranians were franticly trying to figure out how to get the doors to open, while the lady at the desk was discovering that being a Sunday – an elevator technician was not available until the next morning… Yeah RIGHT!!! – like I’m staying in here all night! But so far – no options. This is when we really started to feel panicky – not even able to sit down let alone go to the bathroom! I pulled out my trusty Swiss Army knife and began unscrewing one of the tiny vents to get more air. This enabled us to communicate a little better with our friends on the outside, many of whom were using the opportunity to take pictures of us through the crack in the door. Some were praying, and squeezing through small bottles of water. Well… after about a half hour, the father of my Ukranian friend Kolya used his car jack to pry open the doors. The doors bent and twisted open just enough for us to squeeze out one by one, to the cheers of our friends and onlookers.

The lesson in this… It is for freedom that Christ has set us free… do not therefore test the limits of sketchy elevators.

Some shots of Ukraine

2005-09-02T10:03:00.000-07:00

St. Michaels Cathedral Kiev, deep religeous history of Ukraine.

Little old lady on a bicycle, happens every day...

Our friends Jonathan and Vera.

My friend Kolya and his father.

Traditionaly Turkish coffee... mmmmmm..... cofffffeeeeeee...

We're home!

2005-09-02T09:57:00.000-07:00

In the words of Samwise Gamgee, “Well, I’m back”.
The trip to Ukraine was fantastic. We felt carried by God, and honored to play a part in the building of His Kingdom in the village of Dobromyl. We were favorable received by the town’s mayor, and by a good number of people who remembered “the Canadians” from two years ago when we were there. We played with orphans, presented the gospel in dramas and testimonies, and played football (soccer) with teens. I really felt like we got to challenge people’s image of faith and Christianity. The Ukrainians are a religious people, but they lack the understanding of Christ’s call for us to follow Him daily. I hope and pray we served His purposes for these people. We are forever changed by the experience.

Ukraine 2005

2005-08-09T15:09:00.000-07:00

On August 16th mylself and 10 students will be travelling to a village called Dobromyl in Ukraine for a 2 week missions trip. 3 of us have been there before 2 years ago. To the left you see me and a few of the friends we met there. we hope to assist in a church plant for this village. we will be working with a few bible college students from a the city of Lviv, 2 hours away.

If you think of it, pray for me and my team. I really want to see God change our lives through the adventures we will have. I also believe that God can use us to change this village somehow. I really want to play a part in the story of the Kingdom in this place, with these people. I find their culture and faith inspiring.
I get to be a pastor and a leader, but I really don't know what I'm doing. I'm just like every other beleiver, trying to be obedient and depending on an amazing God! I get to preach to people through an interpreter, I'm thinking about talking on the fruit of the Spirit... "what is growing out of you"... "God is the farmer - I am merely soil... what kind of soil will I be?". I pray that God's word comes through me loud and clear, that is power!
But more than that - I pray that who I am matters. That I can make a difference because I let Christ shine out of me - even at the most unusual moments.

Pray with me,
Pray for me!

Being a minister of grace

2005-07-12T14:05:00.000-07:00

(This is a challenge I sent to the leadership team of our youth ministry)

Think of it as a pop machine on a hot day, but this one is free! Just like that, you are a "grace dispenser", a minister of grace. That means that you are one who has recieved the un-earned favor, forgiveness, and love of God - so you must pass it on. People need grace more than a coke on a hot day.
Dispensing grace is spiritual warfare - it challenges the logic of man (payback, getting even, revenge) and offers what only God can offer - forgiveness. Grace is not accepting of sin, but grace loves the person. Grace challenges the enemy's agenda in our life, the lives of our friends and family, and Satan has no waepon to answer it or defense against it!
Your friends at youth, your unsaved co-workers, aquaintances, and especially family, need grace from you. They need supernatural understanding and forgiveness that points to God.
So the next time something or someone ticks you off, don't respond by thinking of yourself. Instead, dispense grace. You have it in you (His name is Jesus).

1 Corinthians 1: 4-5
1 Peter 4:7-11

The Uniform

2005-06-09T15:31:00.000-07:00

I’ve served for over 20 years in the military, in the service of my country. I guess I have a lot of pride in this uniform. I value all the men and women I’ve served with, the battles I’ve actually fought, the things I’ve done, and the friends I’ve lost. These things have left many permanent marks on my soul, deep marks. To me, military service is a very personal and serious thing. I am a part of something great, and significant. I have sacrificed to serve noble ideas like freedom, and the value of human life. I am not the perfect person, not at all the perfect soldier, but I do my best because it matters. I wear my uniform with pride. It stands for something.

It makes me angry when someone insults this uniform. Worst of all is a person of the same uniform who treats it with contempt. How can there be anyone who has seen what I’ve seen and done what I have done, who treats his uniform as a cheap rag. Where is his pride? Where is his honour, where are the things we all stand for? Is he even one of us? When this person lives in such a way to bring shame to the uniform, it makes me want to walk up to him and demand that he immediately take it off. To stop calling himself a soldier. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about living a life worthy of the uniform. A life worthy of the sacrifices, of the values, or at least trying. That’s all we can really do is try. But if you are unwilling to at least try, then do not call yourself a soldier in my army. Respect what this uniform stands for or take it off. Because this matters.

I am a Christian. The military I serve is the army of the living God, the Kingdom, His Church. The uniform I wear is the name of Christ. The word Christian is the insignia on my chest. I am not perfect. But the name of Christ matters to me. If it does not consume your whole life, then take it off.

2005-06-09T15:29:00.000-07:00

Me and my amazing wife

2005-06-09T15:27:00.000-07:00

Coffee with Jesus

Beginnings

2005-06-09T15:00:00.000-07:00

What do I know about blogging! I like to spew thoughts and opinions as much as the next guy. Plus, I have this idea that learning to write might just help me process the thoughts I have... yes I do have thoughts... here they are, for what it's worth...

Rob Petkau,
a Jesus Jedi